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An Open Letter to Stanley (aka Joe-Not-Really-a-Plumber) Wurzelbacher

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Dear Stanley,
Since you’re all about open letters, here’s one for you:

I understand that whole 15 minutes of fame thing can delude people like yourself into believing their opinions actually matter to the rest of America; truth is, you were simply one of the useful idiots in John McCain’s campaign. Yes, you now have a Wikipedia page, so does Bozo the Clown. Anyway, I’m talking opinions, so here’s mine:

When our fellow citizens suffer a tragic loss, real Americans sympathize whether our political viewpoints are the same or not.

When those who suffered that loss express their outrage, real Americans understand, whether they agree with them or not.

When those same folks are grieving, real Americans grieve with them.

As many have said, if the first thing you think of after a tragic shooting is your gun rights, you are a pathetic example of a human being. The only people that resonates with are your fellow idiots. There are gun owners, of which I am one, and gun enthusiasts; do not confuse us with the likes of you.

While we’re on the subject, real Americans don’t call for “hunting down politicians” either; we speak with our votes, not our guns you imbecile. It is precisely people like you that your party panders to because they recognize that ignorance is the only thing keeping them in office, and year after year you and your ilk do not disappoint.

Do us all a favor – go join Cliven Bundy and your fellow bogus patriots in Nevada. Oh and pleeeeez, swing by Alaska and pick up the other useful idiot on your way.


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