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GOP Imploding Before Our Eyes

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I don’t know if the GOP’s “professional” campaign managers decided to sit the 2016 election season out or what, but it sure seems like a bunch of amateurs running things this time around.

Jeb-2016-630x420jebLet’s start with Jeb!’s campaign. Maybe he thinks it’s his due, like he’s next in line or something, but he seemed dumbfounded when he didn’t skyrocket to the top of the heap. Then, somebody got the bright idea to lose the name Bush, like Americans are so STUPID they’d forget his lineage.

His campaign sort of muddles along, about as exciting as watching a sloth climb a tree, then another great idea: A Twitter hashtag, #jebcanfixit. You know what’s coming next, don’t you… here are but a few gems:

jebcanfixitThen NPR ran a piece yesterday on the Jeb! campaign’s ineptitude:

On the campaign trail, he’s lagged in the polls, been criticized for low-energy debate performances and then there was a book dredging up questions about his father’s and brother’s years in the White House. This week on the road, though, he seemed to be fighting to turn some of that criticism around.

But a lot of the Internet doesn’t like Bush no matter what he says or does…

1. Jeb and the French

This one started last week, during the GOP debate hosted by CNBC. When criticizing opponent Marco Rubio’s attendance and voting record in the Senate, he accused Rubio of working something similar to a three-day, French work week.

2. #JebCanFixIt

Over the last few days, Jeb Bush has attempted a campaign reset of sorts. He’s toughened some of his rhetoric, using words like “damn” more frequently, and telling audiences that he eats nails before breakfast. And, he unveiled a new slogan, “Jeb Can Fix It.” Almost immediately, it all went south. The jokes rolled in, including some about Jeb Bush fixing his brother’s election in 2000 (remember the Florida recount?) There were comparisons to Bob the Builder. It was bad.

3. #ThisPsychMajor

At a town hall meeting last Saturday, Bush said the following: “Universities ought to have skin in the game. When a student shows up, they ought to say ‘Hey, that psych major deal, that philosophy major thing, that’s great, it’s important to have liberal arts … but you realize, you’re going to be working a Chick-Fil-A.'”

That got psych majors riled up of course, like these two:

psych majors

Yeah, that didn’t work out so well… Now, Pittsburgh’s WTAE reports:

… while sitting in a booth on his campaign bus… Bush maintained an almost brash certitude that he would win the nomination. The previous week may have been difficult, he acknowledged, but he is staying on message, insisting he’s thinking about the long game, especially in New Hampshire. Voters, Bush says, will eventually nominate the person they view as the most electable and experienced.

“At the end of the day, places like New Hampshire make up their mind based on who they want to see as the party’s nominee to president of the United States. Not to prey on their fears. Not to fulfill their angst,” he said. “And when we get to that decision point, I feel pretty good about my chances, to be honest with you.”

Good luck with that Buddy… Moving on to Ben Carson:

carsonNever has a candidate for President raised such serious questions about mental competence as this guy. Aside from the information coming out daily on his biographical fabrications, there are certain way-out-there-beliefs that have prompted a deluge of memes; far be it from me to deprive you:

ben hendrix

carson wall of china

carson pez

carson funny

And my personal favorite:

1fuck

If you’re shooting for the insane asylum demographic, this is your man. Besides having embellished his biography, i.e. claiming to have been offered a full scholarship to West Point, when there is no such thing, he believes the pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain; that Americans “have a right to any type of weapon that they can legally obtain in order to protect themselves”; and while declaring his personal bravery with this statement about mass shooters:

“Not only would I probably not cooperate… I would not just stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, ‘Hey, guys, everybody attack him! He may shoot me but he can’t get us all.”

he told this story about actually being confronted by a gunman:

“I have had a gun held on me when I was in a Popeye’s organization. Guy comes in, put the gun in my ribs. And I just said ‘I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.”

Not exactly President Marshall from Harrison Ford’s Air Force One. Hopefully Carson is enjoying himself in his quest to be President, and selling lots of books, because he’s quickly destroying his reputation, and becoming a walking joke.

trumpFinally, there’s Donald Trump; I’m long past being sick of hearing about this guy. The media falls at Trump’s feet for some reason, granting him more free airtime to campaign than anyone I can remember. He has so far weathered the blow back from his racism, sexism, and dissing of POWs among other things, because “journalists” prefer to write about his appearance on SNL as opposed to his lack of any clear cut policies.

The Wall Street Journal did at least explain Trump’s naivete on the issues in a September piece titled: “Donald Trump Policy Plans Raise Concerns, Critics Argue“. They point out:

Donald Trump, amid all the hype and slights against his rivals, has homed in on a handful of substantive issues that he regularly highlights in his stump speech, beyond his signature plan to deport nearly 12 million illegal immigrants.

He decries the loss of U.S. jobs to international competitors, the Iran nuclear deal and the costs of providing security for European and Asian allies…

Yet while Mr. Trump is identifying concerns, his prescriptions for addressing them sometimes ignore the roles of other branches of the government, the limits of presidential authority and existing global commitments by the U.S.

In plain-speak, he hasn’t got a clue how government works.

So let’s recap: The establishment guy/assumed candidate is barely registering in polls, and their two front-runners exist in an alternate reality, to put it politely. This is all of Republicans’ own making; they unleashed the Tea Party on the country and it ended up biting them in the ass.

I have to have faith that mainstream America will not allow any of these Yahoos near the White House.


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